Striving for less

Or, can I have some more lifetime please?

I have a lot going on: important work, lots of friends, many interests, a busy schedule. This is a problem of luxury and I am grateful for it. But, I am also more conscious than ever that every “yes” is a “no” to something else. Every moment spent on one thing, is time deducted from another. And, as a person who has spent most of my life pondering death, the increased pace at which time is passing now feels… instructive. The days admonish, “Choose wisely,” as they speed by.

Each day of this vacation, I’ve been making “to do” lists, but gentle ones. Tuesday's list was a very manageable list of three easy tasks, and two social engagements, so it was productive, but also fun. Since even that felt like a full day, I made yesterday’s list even more simple: write, read, nap, and optional gentle stretching. It was a good day, and I even got in some watercoloring. I mention this because I am gearing up for a more challenging set of “to dos” today: letting go of important commitments.

I’m not a person who needs to be reminded that “No is a complete sentence,” but–again–my life is pretty full. Much of what I do feels important, or feels like a passion project, or brings me some kind of satisfaction or happiness. But, as I move toward big shifts, I can appreciate that my energy and time are limited, and there’s no way to give every endeavor what it deserves without scaling back.

An example of this is having to have difficult conversations about Board commitments: I’ll be stepping away from a Board of Advisors position that I didn’t really even get to fully step into. But, the organization in question really needs and deserves someone who can put their whole self into it.

Likewise, with regard to the Rider Wars competition I mentioned in another post. The purpose of Rider Wars is to create better horse people, for their own good, but especially for the good of the horses they partner with. Rider Wars is a new competition that runs concurrently with the Appalachian Trainer Face-Off. (The Appalachian Trainer Face Off is a one-of-a-kind competition that brings horse trainers from across the country together to demonstrate their skills while highlighting adoptable horses.) As a board member of the organization that hosts both competitions, I thought participation would be a good way to increase my involvement and a way to develop my own horsemanship.

What I’ve found is that I can do that–lessons, working with mentors, promoting the event–without the added time and energy of the actual competition. So, now I’m faced with whether continuing on in the competition is the best use of my time, or not. And, on this, I am truly split. So, for today: lots of prayer and meditation, and seeking good counsel.

So, that’s what makes today’s “to do” a higher difficulty rating¹ than yesterday’s. Considering these decisions, even while feeling ambivalence about the choices, is tough, but also very rewarding. It’s a reminder that I’m following my heart and making my own path.

What about you, dear reader? Have you ever given up good things in support of better-for-you things? Tell me about it!

1. Today’s list also includes “clean out the refrigerator” which is tough for a different reason, and not nearly as rewarding.