I went to sleep on the night of Halloween prepared to tackle the upcoming month of November with a no-pain, no-gain sense of urgency and austerity. Starting sometime around Labor Day weekend and lasting right up until trick-or-treat, I had out-dined, out-shopped, out-socialized, and out-candied myself into a fugue state and, like any good Catholic, I was eager to atone. By the end of October, I’d begun a rather lengthy list of the No-Novembers I would undertake: No Carb, No Plans, No Clutter, NoSo, and… if we’re honest, No Shave. I knew I wouldn’t be alone; the societal support for No-Novembers is big. People are eager to CUT.SHIT.OUT as the days grow short, and I was feeling the same as my head hit the pillow on All Hallows Eve.
Of course, the other thing we commonly associate with November is gratitude. And gratitude is what I was overcome with when I stepped outside on November 1st. The morning was overcast, but lovely, the gray skies muting the colors of the forest floor which just the day before had been as riotous and brightly busy as any casino carpet in Las Vegas. The air was fresh, but still, and even the tiniest movement of a squirrel created a rustle of leaves loud enough to rival those caused by a child jumping gleefully into a freshly raked pile of them. I slowed my pace in order to savor each step of my walk. It dawned on me then that perhaps my soul would benefit more from slowing down and practicing mindfulness and gratitude, than to continue on at breakneck speed, cutting things out left and right in an effort to “be better”. It also occurred to me that I might be more successful at making meaningful and lasting change if I were deliberate and intentional about what I want in life, rather than being haphazardly all-or-nothing in my thinking.
Unlike No-Novembers, slowing down doesn’t require a wholesale change of behavior. I’ve been meditating on-and-off for a couple of years now and even practicing for five minutes a day makes a noticeable difference in my mental health. So, slowing down might look something like that, or trading out my usual TikTok scrollfest for a book a few times a week. I may decide to skip a rushed work-to-dinner-date evening for a meal in the crockpot (literally a slow cooker). Or, I might go on a Sunday drive to nowhere in particular. I hope these purposeful pauses will serve as anchors, giving me small yet powerful moments to reconnect to myself.
Slowing down isn’t just about time alone; it’s also about being more present in my relationships. When I take time to listen without distraction, I’m able to connect and to let my family and friends feel seen and understood. I can’t overestimate how much I miss out on spending quality time with people when I feel overwhelmed, or when I’m rushing from one thing to the next. I want to linger in lengthy face-to-face conversations this month. I want to porch sit with neighbors on the warm days, and to snuggle on the couch with my husband on the cold ones. Another slow, analog thing I do pretty regularly to stay connected is writing letters. It’s slow, like a snail (mail), and I love it. I hope that stepping away from the rush this November means I’ll have even more time for that. (If you’d like to be on the receiving end of my epistolary hobby, send me a message with your address!)
And, instead of things I won’t do, I’ve decided to add items to my very purposeful to-do list. Right at the top? Write every day! So, hello friends, here I am: writing. And, here is where I am for the rest of the month, having given up on No-November. (Wait, does that mean No No-November?) This year, my preference is to go slow and to spend time in deep appreciation for the abundance in my life. My intention: “I will slow down and savor each moment.”
But, intentions? Meditation? Gratitude? Abundance? Don’t let these words fool you. I haven’t gotten so New Age-y that I don’t like a good slogan and some kind of 30 day challenge, so I present to you, 30 days of unhurried, conscious living: Slowvember!
Let’s make it a good one!