Learning something new in midlife can be a wild ride (literally, in this case)—especially something as humbling and complex as horsemanship. At 54, I am learning horses—not just learning to ride, but really trying to take in as much knowledge as I can about them, and about what it means to be a good horsewoman.
It’s thrilling, and it’s hard. My body is not the body I had at 24, or even 44. My balance is different, my strength greatly diminished. I feel every awkward posture and miscue. But I also feel something else: a deep, almost reverent joy. I am allowing myself to chase the dream I had as a young girl: that one day, I might be surrounded by horses. I’m not chasing mastery; I’m courting connection—with the horse, with the land, and with the real me.
It’s not lost on me that many women my age are being told to shrink. To fade into the background, to make way. It’s what I thought was expected of me, too. I had really internalized the “expiration date” that our culture wants to slap on us. But, it turns out that I’m not that into staying in the good graces of a bullshit system, anyhow. Nope–I choose to give myself the love and grace to start new things at a not-so-new age. To wobble and wonder. To saddle up with grace and grit. There is power in starting over—especially when you do it in a pair of badass boots.
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